Legend of 1000 Moons
by Aerois
Summary: When Princess Zelda is taken by the sorcerer Vaati, she can easily guess her fate; once he's gotten what he wants from her (whatever that may be), he'll kill her without a second thought. To keep the mage's mind occupied, and to keep herself alive, she begins to weave the first threads of a story that will be remembered for all of time- The Legend of 1000 Moons. (Arabian Nights AU)
1. The First Night

Hello everyone, and welcome to my newest story, Tale of 1000 Moons! I came up with this idea a long time ago, and I've been wanting to act on it ever since. I don't really have a definite plan in place for this story, but I have a general idea of how I want it to go. This is mainly going to be a sort of romance, with some drama, comedy, and intellectual debates mixed in. I mean, it's Vaati and Zelda after all. They love to talk and they love to use big words.

Anyway, if you're new to the pairing and decided to try it out, I hope you like it! As always, reviews will be appreciated.

* * *

Though she was loathe to admit it, the Wind Palace was a lovely place. With alabaster stone stretching up impossibly high, and the most immaculate and plush, red carpet spilling through every ornately carved hallway, it was a castle that would impress anyone.

She'd ask the Sorcerer of Winds who built it, if she weren't so afraid he'd lop her head off for it.

Gods, how did it come to this? The crowned Princess of Hryule, bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom herself, and here she was; "kidnapped" by some rogue, despicable, dark magic-wielding _fiend_. Really, did she _have_ to use herself as human bait? She was the holder of _Wisdom_ for goodness' sake, she could've come up with a better plan to get him to stop kidnapping young maidens if she hadn't been so hasty! She sighed to herself. Link must be rubbing off on her somehow to make her do something as reckless as this…

To be fair, it had seemed like a good idea in theory. The Wind Palace was impossible to reach through human means; the only way to reach it was via magic. And since no one but the Sorcerer of Winds himself knew how to get to the place, it stood to reason that the best way to get there was to have him _take_ her there. And, if she were being honest with herself, she wasn't really left with much choice but to act swiftly. With so many maidens disappearing so quickly, sitting around and twiddling her thumbs safe in Hyrule Castle until she thought of a better plan may have had disastrous results. Vaati was mysterious, a loose cannon. There was no telling what kind of plan he had up his sleeve, so until he could be observed more closely, she couldn't run the risk of losing the battle before it even started. If a queen's duty was to protect her people, then by the gods she would do everything in her power to live up to that, even if she was only a princess for now. Hyrule and its people were her responsibility. It has her and her father that they looked to in times of crisis. And since her father had not been gifted with the power of magic, well, Zelda saw no reason why she wasn't qualified for this task.

…But the more time she spent in the palace, the more she began to realize just of how much of a disadvantage she was at. The heels of her shoes clacked against the stone flooring as she paced, gloved hands curled tightly together over her midsection. If Vaati saw her now, she'd surely lose what little leeway she had left in this battle of wits.

Maybe it would be best to review what she knew so far. At this point, she knew: that Vaati had returned, he had begun to kidnap young maidens from around the kingdom, and he was, strangely enough, _not_ demanding any ransom. In fact, he hadn't made so much as a peep to the rest of the world. Which was a little concerning, since one of the only known things about the Wind Sorcerer was that he absolutely loved making a big show of things and announcing his presence. In the case of the disappearances, the only thing that had pointed to Vaati as the perpetrator were the eyewitness accounts of women being snatched up by whirlwinds and gigantic, floating, black eyes. Which was adequate enough evidence. But still, it was peculiar. What was Vaati _doing_ with these women?

…The first thing that came to her mind was a concubine, but she shook her head at the madness of the very idea. Vaati, resorting to kidnapping women to ease his loneliness? It was too desperate, and Vaati was far too prideful to resort to such a base strategy, especially for something as meaningless as carnal pursuits. If she weren't in such a dire situation, she may have outright _laughed_ at the thought.

First things first, she'd have to find where the maidens were being kept, then get them out before the Sorcerer came for her. Finding them would be the hardest part. With her magic, she could easily teleport back home as soon as she had them all together. But, she worried her lip, the palace was so large she had no idea where to begin searching. And how would she be able to make her way through this maze of white without getting utterly lost? There had to be something, some way to mark her place, without Vaati knowing. She glanced at the carpet under her feet.

' _Of course!'_ she beamed. If she could summon some light magic– just a little bit– she could draw a marker under the rug. The magic in the air would be so minute it was bound to wear off soon, and the only trace left of her influence would be a small burn mark on the floor. He'd never look there! Stooping down to her knees and peeling up the fuzzy edge, she closed her eyes and concentrated.

Only to realize with horror that nothing was happening.

' _Wh… what?! I can't use my magic here?!'_

Wards against outside magic… she'd heard about them in ancient texts, but they were apparently incredibly hard to master. To Hyrule's knowledge, only 3 people had ever learned to use them. …She guessed that number was 4 now. She gulped, trying to reign in her growing panic. Not only was she right in the monster's belly, now there was no way _out_.

She gripped the grey hood draped over her features, tugging it further down her face. Vaati would be here soon. She needed to think of something, and fast. Because as soon as the hood came off and Vaati were to realize he'd been tricked–

"Welcome to the Palace of Winds, maiden," a voice behind her purred, sending chills down her spine. "I do hope you have what I want… For _both_ our sakes."

–he was going to be _furious_.

* * *

It's short, I know! Originally it was just a one-shot I posted to tumblr a few months ago and I just like the way it cuts off here. Very dramatic, very Vaati at the end especially. Anxious about what'll happen next? ...Me too!


	2. Every Which Way

I bet ya didn't think it'd take this long for chapter 2, eh? Well lucky for you guys, this one's about twice as long!

Good news: finally figured out the plot. ...Actually this chapter took a long time because I was trying to find that old BBC miniseries for Arabian Nights that came out in 2000. Saw it in middle school and I watch it every time I see it on TV, but these days I can't find it anywhere. Was kinda hoping to watch it as a reference but the summary on Wikipedia'll do. From there I'll be splicing in other fairy tales and legends, which brings me to my next point:

 **If you've got a story you'd like Zelda to include, let me know in the comments section!** I'd love to know what kinds of tales my readers would like to see in this fic.

* * *

What in the world was she _thinking_?

Running headfirst into the enemy stronghold with nothing but a cloak to disguise her and only half a plan to rely on was just asking for trouble. What did she _think_ she was going to do, challenge him to a duel? Navigate a veritable fortress she'd never set foot in and orchestrate a flawless prison break all on her own? Demand him to stop in the name of the King? It was madness; she was seriously out of her mind at this point. If only she'd listened to her Father when he told her to leave the mystery of Vaati to the armed forces and kingdom mages she might would be sitting in her room at this very moment, warm and curled up on her bed with a good book and a mug of tea lovingly brewed by Impa.

Instead she's frozen solid in fear with a madman literally breathing down her neck. For sure, he'll rip the cloak off in a moment, see that she's just an ordinary girl, and, if she's lucky, turn her to stone. If she's even less lucky, he'll realize she's the princess and hold her hostage until her father either pays him a devastatingly large sum of gold or outright gives him the throne. Worst case scenario was torture, and she really didn't want to think about what kind of horrors a megalomaniacal wind mage could inflict upon a defenseless human girl. If it weren't for the ward against outside magic, she might've had a fighting chance.

Now... now, she's completely at his mercy. And he has none.

"Well?" he speaks again, "I suppose you must be shaking with fright at this point, but you've had ample time to compose yourself while I was giving orders to my horde of monsters. And I warn you, I am not a patient man, so it would do you well to obey and come to me."

He begins to step forward, pacing so deftly and gracefully she wouldn't have even noticed the sound of his footfalls if she hadn't been so terrified.

"Though I must say, I am impressed. Most of the other women have either fainted or attempted to jump from the palace at this point. Which, you should know, will not work. Let's get this over with quickly, shall we? All I need to do is take a quick _peek_ into those eyes of yours, and—"

When he curls a chilling hand around her wrist, she springs into action. Luckily, being raised a princess came with the _privilege_ of knowing that someday she may very well find herself in these exact situations, and how to escape from them. The weakest point is where the thumb meets the index finger, she remembers, and with a mighty twist of her arm and a yank, she is free. The momentum from her break-away is channeled into swinging a swift kick below his belt, the pointed tip of her boot adding some much appreciated extra damage. Grasping both arms to her chest, and before she can even fully register what she is doing, she is tearing through the hallway as fast as her legs can carry her. Behind her she hears a gasp of sharp pain and surprise that sounds so scandalized that she can't help but crack a smirk as she takes a sharp turn down a hallway. It's a dirty move, and not princess-like at all, but her father did always tell her that if a man tried to drag her off somewhere she should take every cheap shot she could get.

The castle is impossibly large, so much so that she has no idea where she's going or where to hide. She's banking on the hope that Vaati hasn't explored the entire place either. At the very least, she can try and think of a new plan while she's running. It's not much, but it's something.

"You will _not_ get away so easily, girl!" she hears from far away.

Ignoring the enraged snarl, she continues her flight, pouring all of her strength into putting as much distance between them as possible. She settles on an algorithm for which turns to take and which ones not to take. The fact that Vaati hasn't caught up to her yet can only mean that transforming into that horrible eye form depletes a significant portion of his magical strength, and since he's been using it so much recently, he must be at his limit. This forces him to chase her on foot, something he probably never does, especially since he's spent the last few hundred years trapped in stasis. She thanks the Goddesses for luck and pointed shoes, as uncomfortable as they may be.

The minutes tick by, and with each one she feels her strength draining. Running won't work forever. So the real question is, what can she do to persuade him from attacking her? What can she offer him that would enable her to stay conscious and functioning in order to find the kidnapped victims? Evasion won't work. He'll find her at some point and drag her out of hiding no matter where she goes, and even if he didn't, she'd die of starvation eventually. She's too weak to fight him even at her full power. And if she lets it slip that she's the Princess, it'll be a disaster no matter what he does with her from there. So her only option now is trickery and deception. But how could she even do that? What would she even say to make him think a regular, ordinary girl could be an asset to him?

Zelda's thoughts are so engrossing, and her fatigue becoming so prominent, that as she rounds the next corner her feet fall out of rhythm. It's a fatal mistake and she knows it. As her legs tangle she feels her body falling, almost floating to the ground. But time speeds up again as she slams into the marble floor, the force of the collision knocking the wind out of her. There is a faint, but audible snap as something breaks, and a glittering necklace once secured around her neck goes skating across the hallway.

' _No!'_ she despairs, laboring to fill her lungs again. _'The royal amulet! If I don't have that, my magic will be even weaker than it already is! How will I get out of here_ then _?!'_

The existence of an accessory that enhanced magical ability was a well-guarded secret of the Hyrule royal family. The art of crafting such items had been lost long ago, and despite the efforts of many scholars and blacksmiths that strove to resurrect it, so far the process still remained lost to this day. As far as Hyrule knew, the amulet was the last of its kind. In order for it to not fall into the wrong hands, it was always safeguarded by the Queen of Hyrule herself. This also served as a protective measure for the Queen, as attempts on her life were not unheard of, and an amulet was inconspicuous enough that it could be worn every day without being noticed. Since the royal family always produced one daughter with the power of light, it was a precise system to ensure that the amulet never left the hands of the royal family.

Most importantly, it was a memento of Zelda's mother, which she has now lost.

' _Where did it go?!'_ she panics.

There are various suits of armor and decorative tables, small cabinets, and other various artistic sculptures spread throughout the hallways of the castle, and unfortunately for Zelda they're all perfect structures to lose jewelry behind. Her eyes frantically scan the floor, darting this way and that, hoping to catch that tell-tale glint of stone—

And as her eyes raise to the center of the hallway she sees a very purple, very angry figure stalking towards her from the other end. His hair is tussled, hat askew, and his face is about as red as the strange pants he's wearing. It would almost be comical if it weren't for the murderous look on his face.

"You!" he pointed, " _You_ shall dearly pay for that little stunt!"

And although she knows escape isn't the wise choice, as it will only make him angrier, allowing the risk of him finding the amulet is even less wise. So she musters up her strength and turns again, darting back the way she came. As she runs, she searches for any kind of possible landmark she could use to identify this area of the palace in the future. That is, if she'll even have the chance to come back here.

"Damn you, girl! When I catch you there shall be hell to pay, do you hear me?!"

Just when she starts to wonder how much longer they can go on like this, she swings around yet another corner and right into a dead end. A large, ornate window framed by luxurious red curtains with golden braided fringe provides an almost dizzying view of the endless, glittering night sky surrounding the fortress. It's like there's no up or down; like nothing else in the realm existed except for this cursed palace. She heaves in a few breaths, finally feeling just how hard her heart is pounding against her chest, when an almost equally winded Vaati makes his appearance, a hand grasping at the wall for support as he stumbles into the hall.

"By the gods, sit _still_ or I swear I shall—" he pauses to gasp in another breath, "I shall have your head even if you're the Princess herself!"

' _This is the end,'_ she realizes as he steps closer and closer to her.

Paralyzed with fear, all she can think to do is brace herself for the worst. If he's going to kill her for wasting his time and making such a fool of him, she'll at least die bravely and with honor. Nonetheless, traitorous tears prickle at the corners of her eyes.

' _Daddy... Impa... Link. I wish I could've seen you one last time. I should never have come here. I'm sorry.'_

"You should know, I'm usually a perfect gentleman despite my less than stellar reputation," he lectures, still breathing hard, "But you've done a number of vile things to test my already thin patience, and I find myself having less and less goodwill towards you as a member of the fairer sex!"

She feels her stomach plummet as one hand clamps on her shoulder and roughly spins her to him, while the other curls a vice grip around her hood and pulls it down.

"Now stop trashing about like a cornered mouse and let me see your _damned_ —!"

A deep, tranquil color like the summer sea with a tinge of green in them stares back at him in dismay. A color he didn't know eyes could be. An infuriatingly mesmerizing color. Immediately he can tell that in the sunlight they would shine like turquoise. His breath hitches in spite of himself.

"...eyes," he finishes lamely.

Radiant hair pulls up to frame her delicate face; a waterfall spilling over her shoulder, glowing as orange as the rising sun, not a single strand of it out of place. He hopes that in her state of fear she doesn't notice the stammer. She's unnerved him enough times in one night for a lifetime and he'd very much rather not add to the list. But it's a shame, he thinks, that such divine looks are wasted on such a vulgar, violent girl.

She draws back suddenly, but with the utmost calm, and turns away.

"Now you've seen my eyes. Do I have what you seek?"

A stab of embarrassment pierces him for the umpteenth time that night and he suppresses the urge to curse. Of course, if she'd just did as he said and stayed still he wouldn't have been so flummoxed at seeing her face that he even forgot what he was looking for. If she hadn't worn him out with that wild chase this whole ordeal would've been over with by now! All of this was the damned girl's fault!

He flounders for a moment before lifting his chin arrogantly, "You will look at me when you speak to me, girl! I will not be disrespected in my palace!"

She turns to face him again, her frame shaking but her face set in stone. Well, she has guts at the very least. He'll give her a few points for that. But he won't be distracted by her appearance again. This time, he focuses his second sight, mentally prying at the unseen layer that exists around each person's aura. Magic propensity; some have it, some do not, and in varying degrees. He's not sure how much has changed since he last roamed the earth, but he knows instinctively that some humans—Hylians, especially—possess magical prowess. Those who have a significant strength for it make a decent living as mages in the armed forces, or with traveling mercenaries to protect non-magical humans. However, many of those who do possess the gift of magic hold only a weak spark. And oftentimes, those with a decent innate potential are never detected, as the art of sensing another's magic is only known to advanced mages. Commoners that lead simple lives often never accidentally trigger their abilities, and as such, their talents go to waste.

The girl in front of him is likely such a type. He can sense magic in her—light magic, if he's not mistaken— but the force of it is nothing special. He wonders if she even knows she has such a gift. It is plain to him, however, that she does not have the level of power he is looking for. When he first awoke from his seemingly endless slumber, he was almost frightened to realize he had only the slightest recollection of who and where he was. But he recalls, in the recesses of his mind, that he wanted power. That to reign over the kingdom of Hyrule was his greatest aspiration, and that mysterious women with awe-inspiring magical aptitude had been his obstacle. He vowed at that moment to do away with them, to have revenge on the sages that had sealed him in the past. The girl in front of him may not be one of those sages, but if she has magic in her, there's a slight possibility that she knows of it. And if she does know of her gift, then she would also know who enlightened her of its existence. And if he can find that person, that more powerful mage than she, then perhaps that can point him in the direction of a sage.

"I will be generous and answer your question," he begins. "You see, my dear, I've been searching for magic. But not just any magic that a regular citizen could wield. Not even magic that the most powerful court mages in Hyrule castle can command. What I'm looking for is the most powerful magic in the land, next to mine of course. Unfortunately for you, you do not have it, and so ultimately you are useless to me."

She swallows hard, and he takes a step closer, arms clasped behind his back.

"But it'd be such a waste to spend all this time chasing after you only to get nothing. So I think there is one _small_ thing you can offer me in return for all the trouble you've caused."

His lips curl into a devious smirk, "Would you happen to know what that is? Come now, don't be shy. I think you already do."

Alarms are blaring in her head at this point. So many words of advice from her father and Impa about scummy men that liked to corner women and force them into things go flying through her head at once. She's a second away from giving him yet another kick when he opens his mouth.

"Your magic. It's quite weak, but it _is_ there. Now tell me—and _don't_ lie, because I will know if you do— were you aware of that fact?"

Zelda splutters for a moment, somewhere between confusion and overwhelming relief. The sorcerer raises and eyebrow at her, waiting for an answer. In a heartbeat she knows that she needs to appear as ignorant and common as possible. If he suspects any kind of privileged upbringing that a noble or Princess would have, he'll pounce, and the tides could turn in his favor permanently. So using her Goddess-given gift of wisdom, she makes the most logical choice. She lies through her teeth anyway.

"Wai— wha—... I, I have _magic_?!" she gasps, her frenzied state of mind providing the perfect effect. It's hardly even acting, something she was always quite good at.

He scrunches his face up. "Hmmm... You don't know anything, do you?"

She shakes her head, a flawless imitation of bewilderment.

"I... I... no. I had no idea."

He curses lowly under his breath. Back to square one, and he's squandered yet another day on a dead end pursuit.

"Is that why you took me?" Zelda prods, the curiosity of an ignorant girl being a more than adequate cover for some investigating. "You thought I had magic? But... if you can't see if a person has magic without looking into their eyes, how do you decide whether or not a person _might_? I mean, that's why you took me, right? So why did you think I might have magic?"

If she can figure out what kind of behavior inspires Vaati to take new victims, she can find a way to send the message back to the castle. From there, it would just be a matter of educating the public on how not to draw attention to themselves until they can take Vaati down.

He points an almost accusing finger at her.

"I took you because you were acting suspicious! Taking a route through the monster-infested forest, away from the main road that travelers are safe on, in the dead of night by yourself, wearing a hood to cover your face. Does that not sound like the conduct of one trying to avoid capture?! Why were you sneaking about like a thief in the night?"

"That's... I..." she stammered, cycling through a million different excuses.

"It means that you are either running from one who would do you harm, or you are a criminal!"

"If being with Raphael makes me a criminal, then so _be_ it!" she blurts.

The flush on her face is easily mistaken as the passion of a young girl in love, but just below the surface Zelda can clearly see the precarious precipice she balances on. If a lie isn't believable because it's too outrageous, then the whole charade will fall apart. It's an incredibly dangerous move.

Vaati visibly flinches, utterly lost for words, until he slowly begins laughing. His chuckles become full-blown cackles, and he leans to grasp the wall again.

"You," he laughs incredulously, "You mean to tell me that you stole into the night, braving monsters and thieves, all for a _boy_?! Oh, I forgot how entertaining you humans can be!"

"R-Raphael is _not_ just a boy! I love him!" she says, more strongly this time. "And no matter what our parents say, we're going to be together!"

He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, "A charming sentiment, but it shall not be."

Her shoulders tense, and she debates on whether she should continue to argue her case to buy time or let the egotistical man run his mouth some more and give her new material to work with.

"After all, I can't simply let you leave after all you've seen."

Which was her plan all along, really, but hearing the sorcerer say it outright makes her sick with apprehension. The window to tricking him out of turning her to stone or worse, killing her, is essentially the size of a needle's eye. She must strike now, and it must be decisive.

"So you're... going to kill me," she says shakily.

"Oh I could, make no mistake, but I won't. I prefer to not get my hands dirty unless absolutely necessary, you see. And I seriously doubt you could stop me from taking all of Hyrule. No, I shall turn you to stone instead."

"Why are you after Hyrule?!" she demands, "Is it money you want? Power? Glory?"

He grins, "Who says I should only aspire to one?"

"Well... because," she starts hesitantly, "Because if you're too greedy, why... You'll end up just like Kasim."

There is a silence.

"...Kasim?"

"Yes, Kasim."

Another silence.

"And just _who_ is this _Kasim_? Why should I care?"

It's her cue to look as astonished as possible, even a little affronted.

"You don't know who _Kasim_ is?!"

He sneers, "If I did, would I ask?!"

"It's just... I mean, _everyone_ knows about what happened to Kasim. Even the little children."

Vaati draws his shoulders back and scowls. "Are you toying with me, girl? I tire of this back and forth. If you've something to say, then spit it out!"

For all his threatening appearance and notoriety, Vaati was turning out to be quite easy to manipulate. Distracting him with a story; it's almost juvenile, really. Nothing screams "last ditch effort" more than attempting to stave off your death by spinning fairy tales, but strangely enough, Zelda thinks it just may work. From what she's seen of him so far, Vaati was proving to be an insatiably curious man with a desire to take anything he could get. It stood to reason that he wouldn't be able to bear someone only telling him part of something. He'd just have to know the whole thing or it'd eat him apart. And as long as she could keep weaving stories to keep him interested, she would be safe from death and petrification. This could work! It could truly work! She'd found her window!

The sorcerer's anger at being kept in the dark is palpable, but it's not the right mood for a story. Once his ire fades, his curiosity may as well. She needs to think of a hook; something to catch and keep his attention, a spark of curiosity that will last past the break of dawn.

"Of course, I'll tell you. Well, Kasim... he..." she makes a show of looking about the hall, then sighs, her once fidgeting hands dropped to her waist.

"What. is it. now." He grinds out.

"Well, this is _hardly_ the right place to do this, don't you think? It would be best to be somewhere more relaxing. Somewhere we could sit," she says, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

" _Why_ does it matter where we are? Just tell me for gods' sake!" he fumes.

"No no no, it just won't do," she waves her hands, testing her limits. "Besides, you must also be tired from all this running around. And if I can't concentrate well, I won't be able to explain it correctly and then it'd all just be a waste. We need a more suitable atmosphere."

"Ridiculous!" he cries, "I should just turn you to stone and be done with you!"

She averts her eyes gloomily, fully intent on keeping up the mysterious act until the very end.

"Yes... I suppose even if you knew exactly what Kasim's mistake was, you would still make it someday yourself. It wouldn't do you any good to hear about it. And who could blame you? So many men throughout history have done the same thing, it's no wonder what happened to poor Kasim will just keep on happening."

There is a spluttering of noise as he tries to think of a retort, fists curling at his sides in frustration.

" _Fine_!" he booms. "Fine then, we shall find a parlor. And you will sit, and tell me about this _blasted_ Kasim, and then that will be the end of you!"

Without a warning, he turns to march away, Zelda trailing anxiously behind him. She should be terrified, absolutely shaking life a leaf, she knows that. But for some reason, she can't control the thrill that runs up her spine. For the first time in her entire existence, she's run away from home, lied, and escaped death all in the same night. Somehow she feels like she could take on a million Vaatis right now. It's as if her life has suddenly unfolded into a fairy tale of its own. With every challenge, the stakes get higher. And with it, she learns just how much she's capable of.

' _I think I can actually do this!'_ she smiles to herself.

"This had better be worth my time, girl, because you've already wasted enough of it!"

"I have a name, you know," she replies smartly.

"And why should I care what some filthy human's name is?"

She shrugs, "Alright, so I won't tell you then. It won't really matter when I'm just a statue and I can't say anything at all anymore."

His lips draw in to a thin line. She continues her languid pace behind him when his face turns over his shoulder to glare at her.

"I _should_ know your name, so that I may continue to curse you and your wretched self for all eternity!"

"It's Zelina," she says dryly.

"Hmph," he flips his hair haughtily, "As for you, you may call me _Lord_ Vaati and nothing else."

"Yes, _Lord_ Vaati," she drawls.

"Just because I am allowing you a few extra moments of your fragile mortal life does not mean you have permission to be so impertinent!" he snaps.

They walk side by side through the ivory halls, him grumbling variations of "damn the day I had to meet such a girl..." "Zelina, what a _silly_ name, _just_ my luck..." and her biting her cheek to keep from bursting into laughter.

* * *

NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS DID I THINK I'D WRITE A NUT-SHOT INTO ANYTHING I WROTE. WHAT EVEN IS MY LIFE AT THIS POINT.

In case anyone was worrying, Vaati had **absolutely no** inappropriate intent towards Zelda when he was talking about repayment. He seriously was thinking only about the magic. Luckily for all of us, he's a Disney Villain type of baddie who's just chasing power and glory and whatnot. This story's not _that_ dark, especially since this is a romance.

Also I could hear the Benny Hill music the entire time I was writing it, much more fun that way. Oh God, kids these days reading this might not even know what that is. I feel old.


	3. Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there existed a giant tree—oh wait, wrong story.

Y'know I was supposed to write the next chapter of my other fic, but damn, this one's just too cute and it's all I can think about right now.

Also, I'd like to once again encourage anyone and everyone to watch the movie this fic is based off of. Unfortunately it's not on Netflix but I know you can find it on YouTube. It's so old you can't really buy it anywhere but secondhand, so even though I'm usually against watching stuff illegally, I can't find a way to watch it legally sooooo...

* * *

They took many twists and turns. So many, in fact, that Zelda was now thoroughly convinced the castle was more hallway than actual castle. Then again, it was likely designed to be some sort of maze, though the specifics of who built it and why, and how it managed to stay afloat, were a mystery. She thought of her scholar friends back in the court; how the archaeologists would be positively giddy to examine the small island the fortress floated upon, the architects getting almost feverish over every pillar and inch of crown molding, the librarians poring over the many tomes hidden all over the place. Surely they could make much more sense of this madhouse than she could. If she were specialized at all in any of such studies, exploring the castle would be that much more interesting. Perhaps she could take notes in their place instead. It would be something to do, granted she could keep her newest charade up long enough to find a way home.

Finally he stopped at a large door and stood for a moment to draw in a breath. Closing his eyes, he snapped, and in a swirl of purple and black clouds there suddenly appeared a goblin and a poe. Vaati turned a sneer towards the goblin.

"You, open this door. And you," he turned to the poe, "bring us some drink."

The goblin made no sound, but turned to the door and began pushing it, a great creaking filling the air. Once finished, he turned to Vaati, giving a faint, boorish nod and a grunt. Zelda found the entire exchange to be utterly fascinating. A monster, taking orders from a man! Well, it was known that Vaati had monsters in his leagues, but the general assumption was that they only fought. But they took _orders_? Did that mean they understood human language? Were they sentient? Most importantly, how in the world did Vaati manage to tame them?

Before she could think to attempt to engage the goblin in conversation, Vaati told it, "That shall suffice. You may leave," and the goblin obediently shuffled out of the room.

Try as she may, she couldn't help but gawk. Vaati glanced at her, and upon noticing her awed expression, smirked.

"Surprised? Shocked beyond measure? It is to be expected. After all, none but I can make even the most savage of beasts obey my every whim."

"That's... that's amazing! I didn't even know such a thing was possible!" she gaped.

He seemed even more pleased with himself. "It isn't, for all but I," he crowed.

"Were you taught?" she continued, "Is it magic? And what do they get from obeying you?"

He stepped into the room, still grinning. "You don't _truly_ believe I'd tell you, do you?"

"What, afraid I'll stage a coup?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"Hahaha! You know, girl, you are quite amusing indeed," he said, crossing his arms.

"Zelina."

"Gesundheit."

The gibe she had prepared died on her tongue when she took in the sight before her. It was a gorgeous and ornate room with earthen clay-colored walls, and vines growing up them in many places, weaving around pillars and stone grooves. The outward wall was almost completely taken up by a large window, which lead to a balcony that gave a breathtaking view of a garden. Within the room were a variety of richly colored sofas and chairs of all shapes and sizes, and an absurd amount of luxurious pillows strewn about them, stitched with even more rich colors and intricate designs. Above the middle section of the room, where most of the seating areas and a few small sitting tables were, was a sheen canopy draping down from the ceiling. On another wall lay a delicately carved fireplace, adorned with brass and copper knick-knacks, and an old tapestry hanging above it. Even the parlor in Hyrule castle wasn't _this_ extravagant...

"I should think you'll find this room more than suitable, wouldn't you?" Vaati said airily as he strode across the room to sit on a large cushion under the canopy.

In an instant, her stomach dropped. Finally, the time had come. It was time to spin the story, to tease this madman with tantalizing tales, leaving him captivated enough to come back again and again each night. She hadn't even started telling Kasim's story and already she was worrying about how to stretch it into another one. The panic rising in her went completely unnoticed by the sorcerer, who in fact seemed to be in a dour mood as he kicked his shoes off and rubbed his temples. The poe from earlier came breezing in, this time holding a small tray with two wine glasses in its green, almost flame-like hand. It set the tray on a small table next to where Vaati was lounging and quickly flew away.

"Forty nights... Forty whole nights searching like this, and the only thing to show for it is a common peasant girl. What rotten luck," he groaned, reaching for a glass.

A stroke of genius took her by surprise and she grabbed onto it.

"Forty nights, you say?"

Vaati lowered the glass from his lips, crimson eyes scrutinizing her. "Yes," he said warily, "What of it?"

"It's just... a funny coincidence, is all. After all, the story of Kasim isn't _just_ his story. It's also the tale of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves."

Here, he lifted himself up from the spot where he once lay lamentably, a spark ignited in the depths of his eyes.

"Forty thieves? Forty nights of searching, and now forty thieves? How strange..." he murmured.

"No stranger than the story itself," she leaned forward to whisper back, and even Vaati felt a chill race down his spine.

Now Ali Baba and his brother, Kasim, were two poor young men who lived on the outskirts of an ancient kingdom. Much like Hyrule's own Gerudo tribe, they lived in tents and homes made of clay and wood. It was an arid, dry kingdom, with a harsh sun during the day and even harsher winds at night. But Ali Baba was a righteous and kind young man, who always sought to better his and his brother's life. One thing Ali Baba often did was cook up vivid money-making schemes, and his most typical one was to go into the wilderness to find firewood to sell at market. It was hard work, but Ali Baba was always resilient because he had his brother by his side to support him.

His brother, and of course, Saffra. Saffra was almost as important to Ali Baba as his brother was. She was kind, and one of the wisest in the land, despite not having much to say. In fact, Saffra didn't say much at all, at least, not in the way you'd think. That was because Saffra had four legs, a hump in the middle of her back, and _very_ big teeth. Saffra was a camel, and Ali Baba's best friend. Every morning she would come to the door of the brothers' hut and bleat at them until they awoke. And as always, Ali Baba would rise immediately, whereas Kasim would barely open his eyes until Ali Baba poured water onto his face. Unlike Ali Baba, Kasim was _incredibly_ lazy. He spent most days staying at home; either sleeping until noon, smoking the pipe, or both.

Before Zelda could get another word in, Vaati brusquely interrupted, the wine glass clanging onto the table.

"Just a minute, now! Don't tell me this is some trite, overused story about how there was a good brother and a lazy brother, and how the lazy brother never planned for the future and then one day something terrible happened, oh but the _good_ brother was all fine and dandy and the lazy brother had to lie in the bed he made and _blah_ , _blah_ , _blah_! It's the oldest story in the book! You could've summed all of that up in one sentence instead of stringing me along like this!"

His anger was palpable, and Zelda felt the walls start to close in. The more time passed, the more the adrenaline wore off and the more she became afraid she may actually be killed or cursed. Vaati was still a madman after all. She stared at her lap, wringing her hands. No matter how afraid she was, all she could do was push on and brave his outbursts until she could figure out what worked best at keeping him distracted. It was her only option now. She _had_ to do it.

"A teacher of mine once told me; the audience must be hooked in the first moments, otherwise," she sighed, "You've lost them."

" _I_ am lost," he grumbled sourly.

And hope seemed so as well. Vaati wasn't reacting well enough to the story; it was missing something. He had a point when he said the story of a cautious boy and a thoughtless boy was an old one. Many people would be able to recognize it even if names and places changed and Vaati was no different. But then again, some of the best stories in existence were based on older ones, just with newer twists. She needed to introduce a new aspect, something jarring and mysterious. From a crack in the wall, a fat beetle crawled out, as black as night and as slick as a river he scurried across the tile and into the shadows on the other side of the room. Zelda took in a rattling breath and tried again.

"That's because I haven't told you about Black... Black Coda," she started lowly.

He was a vicious man; an absolute scoundrel. Black Coda was tall and large, dressed from head to toe in black, with a twisted beard and a black beetle tattooed on his wrist. His gang was the most savage in all the land, and they terrorized and slaughtered travelers for their money and belongings day and night. No one was safe from him.

"What's he got to do with Ali Baba?" Vaati asked.

Zelda smiled wryly, "He made Ali Baba rich and famous."

No caravan could travel without fear. They never knew when, or where, Black Coda would strike next. They were masters of disguise. Some would cover every inch of themselves and pose as travelers, only to sneak up behind their victims, jump onto their horses, and slit their throats in an instant. Others were even able to sprout from the very ground and ambush entire groups. Using nature to their advantage, they'd sometimes spend entire nights lying, still as death, near the travelers' roads in wait of a rich man's wagon coming through. Black Coda and his gang were so fearsome and so unstoppable that they'd even attack in broad daylight.

Ali Baba certainly wasn't thinking about Black Coda that day when he went to gather firewood. This time, he was exploring new areas of the country, places far from where people lived. He stood at the base of a wall of rocky cliffs, telling Saffra of yet another one of his revolutionary ideas to make money. Moseying along, he laughed to himself, oblivious of the danger approaching. Luckily, Saffra had good instincts. She saw, in the horizon on the path behind them, Black Coda's gang approaching on horseback, saddles laden with their newest batch of loot. They hollered and swung their swords in a show of victory, still bloodthirsty from the fight. Saffra bellowed at Ali Baba urgently and ran for the thicket, and Ali Baba, knowing that something had frightened her, followed quietly, now on high alert.

Ali Baba looked frantically for a way to escape, but he realized he was at a dead end. He was surrounded by cliffs. When Black Coda and his men closed in, Ali Baba could barely breathe. But nothing could prepare him for what Black Coda was about to do next. The thieves immediately sobered when Black Coda dismounted his horse and walked towards a cliff wall, hands rummaging through his pockets. They seemed to collectively take a step back, some of them on the defensive. But Black Coda was not afraid. From his robes he pulled two small objects and raised them in the air. They were sesame biscuits. Stranger still, Black Coda suddenly shouted, "Open Sesame!" at the cave wall. And just when Ali Baba didn't think things could get any more confusing, the cave began to give a mighty shudder. It split apart in the middle, opening to a cavern inside.

There were twin flashes of red as two dragons darted from the cave, their bared teeth snarling and vicious, barbed necks flaring. They were a terrible and fearsome sight to behold, and like a strike of lightning they rounded on Black Coda. His men cowered in fright. But Black Coda had the dragons' respect, and immediately they obeyed his command to stand down. For their compliance, he threw each of them one of the sesame biscuits he was holding, and the dragons took the offering with great pleasure. The thieves scurried past Black Coda and the dragons, depositing their haul quickly and efficiently. Ali Baba watched in awe until they were done, and after they disappeared, rose to approach the cave himself. Saffra knew what he was going to do, and was very vocal about voicing her displeasure. But Ali Baba was so curious he could hardly bear it, and against his better judgement, he raised his hands and cried, "Open Sesame!"

The dragons rushed out yet again with hisses loud enough to shatter glasss. They reared over his head and roared, claws drawn and ready to strike. "Down! Down!" he cried desperately, and to his great surprise, they obeyed. Ali Baba thanked his lucky stars. He knew it was a foolish move, but what he saw as he stumbled into the cave was enough for him to brave the dragons a thousand times over. Riches. Gold. Priceless pearls and jewels. Chests full of golden coins and jewelry and trinkets, even pieces of fine furniture and antiques; a plethora of unimaginable valuables occupied every corner of the cave. Ali Baba knew it was more wealth than he'd ever set his eyes on again in his entire lifetime. The dragons slithered back in behind him, each taking sentry as they wrapped themselves around two pillars in the dark room, hissing softly. And just as they did so, the cave began to close shut, snuffing out the light and bathing everything in pitch black.

Zelda was just describing the look of fear and panic on Ali Baba's face when her voice started to croak with fatigue. She swore her eyelids were as heavy as Gorons. Rubbing her tired eyes, she sighed.

"What's wrong?" Vaati asked, sounding every bit as worn-out as Zelda.

"Nothing, Lord Vaati," she replied, finding it very hard to resist dozing off as she said so.

Though not nearly as ireful as he was hours ago, he began to protest.

"Well, what happened to Ali Baba? Was he just trapped in there forever? And you said this was Kasim's story, so what happened to him? And, and Black Coda, and... " he frowned, "Don't you know?"

"Of course I know. But I'm _tired_. It's already morning," she said softly, cocking her head towards the sunrise in the window.

Vaati jolted in his seat, turning around to find that the sun was indeed rising in the sky. Had it really been an entire night? A whole night passed already and he hadn't even realized? That couldn't be! Surely he could never lose track of time so badly that he'd even miss sleep. Then again, he'd be a fool to deny the sun burning right in front of him as well. He turned back to the young woman seated behind him. So morning had come, but the story hadn't finished. Was that the end of it, then?

"So... you won't go on," he said soberly.

She shook her head, "I will, but... storytelling is best done at night. At least for me. I mean... it's hard to create the right atmosphere with the sun shining, don't you think?"

There was an agonizing silence as Vaati stared at her stonily. Zelda felt her hands begin to tremble, unable to look away. Finally he began walking towards her, slowly, but with an air of murder about him. When he stopped in front of her, he was a picture of pure rage.

"So, a _trick_!" he shouted. "A trick to fool me into giving you more time! You conniving wench, how _dare_ you insult me?!"

"N-no, I –" he grabbed her arm, yanking her up to stand beside him.

"Silence! You shall pay for your treachery!"

He pulled her out from under the canopy, through the large window and out onto the balcony. The cold morning air prickled against her shaking skin like needles.

"Wait, please!" she cried, "Just wait until tomorrow night!"

Backed against the railing of the balcony, Zelda gasped for breath, her eyes pleading with the sorcerer with every fiber of her being. He had been kind enough to give her one night. Maybe that seed of kindness could grow if she gave it nourishment.

"Please, Lord Vaati," she said gravely. "Just... until... tomorrow night."

Vaati raised a commanding hand towards her, a fraction of a second away from petrifying her, when her tearful gaze finally penetrated his fury. At that moment, Vaati did something he'd never before done in his entire life.

He hesitated.

For the first time, Vaati was at war with himself. On the one hand, the girl wasn't so bad. She told enthralling stories; so enthralling, in fact, that the first time he heard her spin tales it swept him up for an entire night before he realized what was going on. That took charisma. She was witty and brave enough to deceive him, and not just anyone could do that. Even if he didn't turn her to stone, she wasn't powerful to stop any of his plans, and there was no conceivable way she could escape. He could always use her for entertainment or for chores around the castle. And, to be frank, she was very beautiful.

On the other hand, she was threatening for almost all of the aforementioned reasons. That charisma and intelligence could lull him into a false sense of security until she found the cracks in his armor and turned against him. The palace was meant to be impenetrable but nothing in this world was foolproof. There could be some method of escape he hadn't realized. She could weasel her way into his good graces with her cleverness and beauty until he— gods forbid— actually _trusted_ her, only to have her lead Hyrule's armed forces right to him.

She could become too dangerous for his own good someday.

But she was harmless, and she was actually almost tolerable as far as humans went.

She could destroy him.

He hadn't heard the end of the story yet.

Grudgingly, against half of his will and almost all of his better judgement, Vaati's arm lowered to his side. Zelda let out the breath she'd been holding and took a step forward, the first hints of a grateful smile on her face. It made Vaati feel sick just looking at it. He spun on his heel and stormed off, clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"You shall finish the story of Ali Baba _tomorrow night_!" he spat as he retreated.

* * *

It's hard to convey, but whenever the narrative enters a story description, imagine that it's Zelda telling Vaati all this, with enough embellishment to take up an entire night. I'm not putting it all into a giant quote because it just feels messy, and I feel like the flow is actually achieved even better when you readers sort of get to enter the story as if it were a stand-alone tale.

Also, it's highly likely I will misspell some of the names in the stories. Wikipedia doesn't name every single character that appears, so I have to spell things somewhat phonetically. Sorry in advance!

" _People need stories more than bread and water itself. They tell us how to live, and why."_


End file.
